We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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