babies were throwing up all over the place
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize