just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize