I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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