Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
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To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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