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  • 90 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 14, 09 at 10:56am

    ummm ok? id be a smart ass and just get some KY if thats what your going to use it for

  • 80 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 14, 09 at 11:28am

    tell her that the man jizz is the best lotion out there to keep her face smooth and youthful looking. At least convince her to try out the jizz for a few months to see if that keeps her skin smooth. She's a girl -- so she is vain. She'll probably buy that line

  • 81 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 14, 09 at 9:22am

    bhahaha why would u jerk off w your girlfriends lotion...when u can bang her?

  • 84 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 14, 09 at 1:04pm

    To 11:28, You are a tool.

  • 78 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 14, 09 at 9:57am

    Vanilla body butter from sephora. Best lotion ever

  • 75 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 14, 09 at 2:00pm

    Wow ur a true fuckin tool

  • 78 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 15, 09 at 8:50am

    And the bitter virgin award goes to 2:58! Thanks for playing!

  • 78 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 14, 09 at 10:00am

    There was a great article on the onion about this, but for shampoos instead of lotions.

  • 72 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 14, 09 at 1:03pm

    Mastrubational arts??? Fucking hilarious! Luv ya, Sven! Where's Ole?

  • 69 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 14, 09 at 10:33am

    Anything cocoa butter. Feels awesome, smells like strippers. My last bf loved the cocoa butter!

  • 67 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 14, 09 at 2:58pm

    bitches are arrogant, shallow and will spread their legs for any guy with money, power or fame. If you tell them that shoving jellybeans up their ass will make them look younger and have good skin, they'll go out and buy jellybeans

  • 65 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 14, 09 at 9:23am

    It's called a handjob, people. They're awesome.

  • 64 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 14, 09 at 12:04pm

    Seduction from vickies is amazing

  • 65 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 14, 09 at 10:58am

    I love anything from Victoria's Secret. Especially "Very Sexy." Mmmm.

  • 62 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 14, 09 at 9:41am

    Unicure works wonders!