Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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