this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
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I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
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The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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