dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Randomize