chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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