I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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