I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize