dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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