Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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