My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Floor bacon is actually really good
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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