found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
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I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
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I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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