There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
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