I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize