is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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