Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize