great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
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side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
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Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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