A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
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It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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