so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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