god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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