ADVERTISEMENT

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.

  Fav 156 5100 1381

  share tweet
  

Comments

You must be Logged in to post a comment

• My dick can do work, your dick is a dork

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:12am

  78 77

  Reply Report

• Need some drizzle for that special mouth? - Sex Addict

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:28am

  74 74

  Reply Report

• My dick, the Incredible Hulk, ur dick just sits there and sulks

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:55am

  77 84

  Reply Report

• My dick makes an appearance, your dick is in clearance

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:58am

  78 87

  Reply Report

• My dick casts a large shadow, your dick would lose in a battle.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:38am

  76 83

  Reply Report

• My dick is fucking delicious, your isn't even vicious

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:08am

  73 83

  Reply Report

• Nope, I didn't die. I'm still here. And guess what? I told my clique that they were losers and I'm done with them now. (:

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:02am

  80 97

  Reply Report

• My dick makes chicks moan, you dick needs to get a loan

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:57am

  69 77

  Reply Report

• Nah, I started at 12:40...

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:29am

  72 85

  Reply Report

• My dick, knocked down the berlin wall. Yo dick, is small without a ball.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 8:45am

  68 79

  Reply Report

• My dick can blow a huge load, your dick looks like a little chode.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:29am

  66 77

  Reply Report

• My dick fucked your girl, your dick made her wanna hurl

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:44am

  69 84

  Reply Report

• My dick even smokes joints, your dick -10 points

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:21am

  67 80

  Reply Report

• My dick waves hello, your dick is just like jello

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:15am

  72 91

  Reply Report

• Why yes. Yes you are.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:30pm

  61 70

  Reply Report

• My dick, gets all the girls off, ur dick is just numb and soft

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:21am

  65 79

  Reply Report

• My dick has been put to good use, your dick can barely even juice

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:49am

  53 56

  Reply Report

• ...your dicks are tiny and you will never get laid

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:14am

  71 93

  Reply Report

• My dick fucked the whole population, your dick needs a consultation

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:00am

  68 87

  Reply Report

• My dick, gets a 1st class flight, ur dick look like a dust mite

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:40am

  75 101

  Reply Report

• My dick bigger than a tree shade, ur dick look like it's 3rd grade

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:43am

  67 85

  Reply Report

• My dick costs a late night fee, your dick has the HIV

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:38am

  68 87

  Reply Report

• Dude. What is with all these my dicks? Well you know what? My dick is like super size, your dick look like 2 fries! Oh and im a chick, BYTHEWAY - Mattie!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 11:57am

  60 73

  Reply Report

• my dick cost a late night fee, yo dick gots the HIV

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:07am

  68 89

  Reply Report

• i left a water bottle full of vodka in the fridge and my friend gulped it down on accident. also i was at my friends apartment and thirsty and ended up doing the same thing. this does happen.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:23am

  55 63

  Reply Report

• My dick, got it's own zip code, ur dick feel a zipper when it's cold

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:45am

  69 92

  Reply Report

• I know, it's fun, I just made up 12:40 and 12:41

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:42am

  69 92

  Reply Report

• My dick can be used as a weapon, your dick needs a lesson

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:19am

  58 71

  Reply Report

• My dick is a leader, your dick is milimeter

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:50am

  61 77

  Reply Report

• my dick loves to fuck, you dick needs more luck

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:17am

  61 77

  Reply Report

• my dick benched 350, yours couldnt even shoplift at thriftys

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:12am

  63 81

  Reply Report

• My dick, has fucked more hoes than Walt Chamberlain. Yo dick, it aint even in the game.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 8:42am

  55 67

  Reply Report

• My dick, dislocated her hips, ur dick look like a Fun Dip

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:16am

  75 107

  Reply Report

• Oh mickey avalone how i love you

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:39am

  64 85

  Reply Report

• My dick can stab you in the eye, your dick looks like a fly

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:33am

  70 98

  Reply Report

• My dick can win a girls heart, your dick can only fart

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:15am

  59 76

  Reply Report

• My dick, USDA Approved, ur dick not even fast food

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:56am

  69 96

  Reply Report

• My dick makes all pussys feel tight, your dick isn't even in sight.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:41am

  63 84

  Reply Report

• my dick is supersized, you dick looks like two fries

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:11am

  68 94

  Reply Report

• Her boyfriend must be real small if she's joking on a special k bar

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:24pm

  65 88

  Reply Report

• hell yes. lets all get drunk in the morning

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:24pm

  61 80

  Reply Report

• My dick can control itself, you dick is stuck on the shelf

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:11am

  60 79

  Reply Report

• My dick. hung like a horse. Your dick keeps gettig worse

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:52am

  66 91

  Reply Report

• My dick is VIP, your dick needs ID

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:20am

  65 91

  Reply Report

• When full erect, my penis spans a full 3 inches

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:23am

  62 86

  Reply Report

• i love drinking as soon as i wake up

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 7:41pm

  66 95

  Reply Report

• My dick, is more loved than tom brady. Yo dick, aint never seen a lady.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 8:47am

  63 89

  Reply Report

• Story of my lifeeeee

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 3:44pm

  63 90

  Reply Report

• Ma dick strikes oil in the morning, ya dick is stupid and boring.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 9:08am

  59 83

  Reply Report

• My dick has its own cell phone, your dick can't even bone

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:03am

  62 89

  Reply Report

• My dick has a large eruption, your dick doesnt even function

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:30am

  63 93

  Reply Report

• My dick, got 'em beggin for mercy, ur dick look smaller than a Hershey

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:32am

  67 101

  Reply Report

• My dick smells like roses, your dick covers noses

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:48am

  65 98

  Reply Report

• Why did you only spell "two" correctly the third time? -D

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:33pm

  66 100

  Reply Report

• U people MADE my night! Thanx! Rock on

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 3:08am

  67 103

  Reply Report

• My dick owns a gun, your dick hides from the sun

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:34am

  60 90

  Reply Report

• My dick looks good in HD, your dick can barely even pee

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:15am

  63 96

  Reply Report

• My dick keeps you wanting more, your dick is weak and sore

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:42am

  58 87

  Reply Report

• My dick is a mac, your dick is a pc pick up the slack

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:37am

  62 96

  Reply Report

• My dick fucks and never quits, your dick just sucks other dicks.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 11:12am

  59 91

  Reply Report

• My dick, keeps poundin the cervix, ur dick look flaccid and nervous

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:55am

  61 95

  Reply Report

• my dick fucks big ol' titties, your dick fucks little kiddies

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:36am

  63 100

  Reply Report

• My dick fucked your wife, your dick sucks at life.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:47am

  55 84

  Reply Report

• LBR... againnn. nawt suprisinnnng at awl.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:26pm

  56 86

  Reply Report

• My dick, has fucked every girl in town. Yo dick, is stuck in that guys brown.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 8:53am

  57 89

  Reply Report

• my dick is large and in charge, your dick seems to be locked behind bars

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:44am

  66 107

  Reply Report

• My dick, keep girls wantin action, ur dick ain't even worth a fraction

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:54am

  55 85

  Reply Report

• no really, thats terrible. like super fml moment, all you wanna do is not choke and die and then you add not get alcohol poisoning? D:

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 11, 09 at 9:16am

  52 80

  Reply Report

• My dick can stick it in your ass, your dick has no class

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:31am

  61 98

  Reply Report

• My dick, stands at attention, ur dick doesn't even get mentioned

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:22am

  59 94

  Reply Report

• I'm white too, doesn't matter...I do have a rap album on iTunes though..

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:02am

  65 106

  Reply Report

• My dick has been all around, you dick cant even create a sound

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:48am

  59 95

  Reply Report

• My dick, snickers king size, ur dick never satisfies

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:40am

  58 93

  Reply Report

• My dick is always groomed, your dick is pretty much doomed

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:27am

  60 98

  Reply Report

• My dick gets licked by the Queen, your dick looks like a fucking bean.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:26am

  52 82

  Reply Report

• My dick is always hard, your dick is a fucking tub of lard

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:45am

  51 81

  Reply Report

• My dick, rumble in the jungle. Yo dick, got touched by yo uncle.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:04am

  58 95

  Reply Report

• i smoked to joints in the morning, i smoked to joints at night i smoked two joints before i smoked to joints... it makes me feel ALL RIGHT! :)

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:30pm

  60 99

  Reply Report

• my dick is so fucking massive, yours is shy and passive

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:17am

  56 92

  Reply Report

• My dick plays on a double feature screen, your dick went straight to DVD

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:39am

  54 88

  Reply Report

• My dick brings all the boys to the yard... O_O

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 10:56am

  56 93

  Reply Report

• My dick can shotgun a bottle of whiskey, Yo dick takes 3 days to get frisky

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:02pm

  48 78

  Reply Report

• My dick is so large it has its own name, your dick puts all dicks to shame.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:39am

  62 106

  Reply Report

• I get it! One would expect to find some water in a bottle in the morning but it turns out it was leftover liquor from the night before! What happenstance! -Dewey

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:34am

  60 102

  Reply Report

• My dick can save lives, your dick has hives

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:30am

  58 99

  Reply Report

• My dick needs a king size bed, your dick never even got head

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:04am

  52 87

  Reply Report

• My dick fucks someone everyday, you dick is lost in a pile of hay.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:51am

  58 99

  Reply Report

• My dick, fits snug and cozy, ur dick looks ugly like Rosie

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:28am

  58 99

  Reply Report

• my dick fucks all the women, your dick can't even get em! i've done like half of these haha

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:22am

  48 79

  Reply Report

• My dick, got voted The Prettiest, ur dick got voted as Wittiest

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:15am

  51 85

  Reply Report

• My dick, cut harder than a diamond, ur dick can't even break the hymen

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:48am

  59 101

  Reply Report

• My dick has massive balls, your dick is stuck behind walls

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:31am

  52 88

  Reply Report

• My dick has a high IQ your smells like poo

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:38am

  65 115

  Reply Report

• My dick, Clint Eastwood scary, ur dick just Dirty and Hairy

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:04am

  58 101

  Reply Report

• My dick makes all the girls cum, your dick is small and dumb

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:34am

  57 99

  Reply Report

• Fucking beyond lame!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:44am

  55 96

  Reply Report

• IM A GIRL I DONT HAVE A DICK

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:18am

  57 101

  Reply Report

• My dick, got a big ass shaft, ur dick play World of Warcraft

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:51am

  46 79

  Reply Report

• Comments > actual text

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 4:49am

  51 90

  Reply Report

• My dick nobody can hate, your dick isnt even straight

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:40am

  51 90

  Reply Report

• My dick can slap you in the face, your dick i can't even trace

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:22am

  46 80

  Reply Report

• all of your dicks are probably worthless and my once throbbing pussy is now officially scared of the short, hairy mess in your pants. just sayin.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:09am

  57 102

  Reply Report

• my dick loves to travel, your dick looks like gravel

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:45am

  58 105

  Reply Report

• My dick, got a standin ovation, ur dick got a burnin sensation

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:41am

  58 106

  Reply Report

• My dick, use 2 hands to cum, ur dick just a finger and a thumb

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:05am

  56 102

  Reply Report

• I'll rap battle anyone...give me 4 words

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:30am

  54 98

  Reply Report

• it is, it really is. i googled "how to be popular" and it said "dont spell anything correctly". so im not an L R!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:36pm

  47 84

  Reply Report

• My dick, double digits long, ur dick doesn't even belong

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:02am

  52 95

  Reply Report

• My dick can't even hide, your dick must have died.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:02am

  56 103

  Reply Report

• Charles Rutherford thinks you lack originality and look like Gary Coleman!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:12am

  53 97

  Reply Report

• My dick has its own job, your dick cant even throb

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:14am

  57 106

  Reply Report

• My dick is bigger than a plane, you dick never even came

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:37am

  50 92

  Reply Report

• This one is more than retarded, I'm drunk and I know that I would hate it in any state of mind... How did it get published!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:19am

  51 94

  Reply Report

• If you thought that was funny, be sure to tune in to Lopez Tonight on TBS at 11/10c. It's really THAT funny!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:54pm

  59 110

  Reply Report

• My dick makes pussys get wet, your dick isn't even set

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:07am

  59 111

  Reply Report

• I believe i'm an expert at about 75% of these

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:03am

  58 109

  Reply Report

• My dick, barely fits in the ocean, ur dick gets fucked with lotion

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:44am

  64 121

  Reply Report

• Wow great story you should tell that at parties!!! Maybe next year..... but prolly not!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:58pm

  58 109

  Reply Report

• My dick has its own record label, your dick isnt even stable

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:40am

  49 92

  Reply Report

• My dick made me dinner, your dick looks so much thinner

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:01am

  56 106

  Reply Report

• My dick likes to get in fights, your dick is scared of heights

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:25am

  48 91

  Reply Report

• My dick gets sucked all the time, your dick isn't even prime

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:23am

  40 75

  Reply Report

• I've posted 11 originals since 12:40, I use the my dick/ur dick

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:12am

  47 89

  Reply Report

• My dick has fee's that are due, your dick needs a tweezer dude

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:06am

  46 87

  Reply Report

• I'm actually a girl doing this.. haha

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:34am

  54 105

  Reply Report

• My dick, so heavy it hangs, ur dick look like a sex change

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:42am

  49 96

  Reply Report

• My dick can sit in a chair, your dick wouldnt even dare

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:37am

  45 89

  Reply Report

• Whered clique girl go? I LOVE HER!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:59pm

  48 96

  Reply Report

• My dick, tastes good like Borden's, ur dick tastes salty like Morton's

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:31am

  51 103

  Reply Report

• My dick, bigger than Tommy Lee, ur dick u let mommy see

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:24am

  53 108

  Reply Report

• My dick, stay hard like Tequila, ur dick, worked on by Bob Vila

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:02am

  42 86

  Reply Report

• woohoo. south carolina area code!

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:50am

  47 96

  Reply Report

• My dick is sick and dangerous, your dick is quick and painless

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:10am

  47 98

  Reply Report

• My dick gets so much ass, you dick has no mass

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:31am

  47 99

  Reply Report

• My dick is always horny, your dick is really fucking corny

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:47am

  47 100

  Reply Report

• My dick has all the power, your dick isnt even flowered

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:09am

  39 84

  Reply Report

• My dick fucked your mom, your dick fucked dom

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:26am

  42 91

  Reply Report

• My dick drags when i walk, your dick can't even talk

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:59am

  49 105

  Reply Report

• My dick, is busy getting laid. Yo dick, wont ever make the grade.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 8:48am

  44 96

  Reply Report

• My dick, stretches her pussy walls, ur dick she can't even feel at all

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:23am

  44 96

  Reply Report

• My dick, fucked ur girlfriend to death, ur dick look addicted to Meth

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:21am

  52 113

  Reply Report

• My dick, couldn't fit in a coozie, ur dick shoot quick like an oozie

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:46am

  51 111

  Reply Report

• My dick can squirt across the room, your dick is ready for its tomb.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:50am

  52 114

  Reply Report

• My dick is smaller then my dogs

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:46am

  39 88

  Reply Report

• My dick, can populate the whole world, ur dick ain't even been inside a girl

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:50am

  52 114

  Reply Report

• My dick bigger than a plasma, ur dick so weak it got asthma

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 12:41am

  43 97

  Reply Report

• :( talk to me D.. :'( -Jenna

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:35pm

  44 99

  Reply Report

• speeeelling correctlay is so last year. hawwnestllly.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:34pm

  48 111

  Reply Report

• My dick does some damage, your dick needs a bandage

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:09am

  45 108

  Reply Report

• Ma dick carries a load, ya dick looks like a chode.

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 9:09am

  41 101

  Reply Report

• breakfast of champions

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 9, 09 at 11:24pm

  43 107

  Reply Report

• my dick parts the seas, your dick just farts and queefs

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 1:09am

  46 115

  Reply Report

• My dick never gets cold, your dick you cant even hold

  Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 10, 09 at 2:26am

  40 113

  Reply Report