he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
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We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
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He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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