He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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