Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Houston, we have a blender
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
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Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
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I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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