I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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