Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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