so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize