what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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