My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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