I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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