this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize