I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize