i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
even my farts smell like vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize