Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize