Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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