I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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