i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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