If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize