tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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