omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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