We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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