My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize