a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
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Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
how does that bad decision feel?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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