I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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