It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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