Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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