I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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